Today, I had a hit to my site from someone searching for “little boys in girlish clothes.” Please pass the mental floss.
Seriously? You flag “Google?” And “blog?” Shouldn’t knowledge of certain words be part of the job requirement?
Edited to add: Spellcheck. Really? Yep, but spellchecker is A-OK. Disturbingly, it seems the spellchecker doesn’t check post titles. Hat tip to SueWho.
Monkey or giraffe?
Giraffe, please. Acorn fills the monkey slot in our household neatly, what with all the jumping about. Besides, I was once bitten on the eye by a monkey, and I’m still mad at it.
Wood fireplace or gas fireplace?
Wood. Do I look like a dinosaur killer to you?
Jump off a cliff [...]
I’d never before had a teacher who played favourites so blatantly. You were also the first who showed me a grudge held against the elder siblings you’d taught years earlier (and of course against my strong-willed mother). I told the tubists and drummers I didn’t know why you, the director, were picking on [...]
Since Acorn will be with his father Christmas morning, Santa made a special visit to our house Friday night/Saturday morning.
Friday night I read the poem “A Visit from Saint Nicholas” (more usually known by its first line, “‘Twas the night before Christmas”) to Acorn. Saturday morning he woke a bit earlier than usual. [...]
“I don’t want peanut butter on my sandwich, just jelly.”
“Well, you should have peanut butter. It has protein. You need protein.”
“Potein? What that?”
“Protein’s one of the things you need to grow up to be big and strong.”
A thoughtful frown. “I don’ want that on my sandwich.”
“Hey, do you know what muscles are made of?” I [...]
A difficult baby, a difficult child, now a difficult teenager. Your alphabet soup of diagnoses didn’t help for years. But when your little cousin hugs you during the worst storms of your misfiring brain, you stop to reassure him. I can see your struggle, holding in those too-large feelings however briefly, and I laud you [...]
One of the most erudite persons I’ve ever known, you asked at my admissions interview why poetry was. What was its purpose? What made it valuable, and distinct from prose? It had never made sense to you.
A family emergency kept you from attending my senior thesis lecture on that topic. We [...]
“I’ll stop and you’ll have to go around with your hair half-done if you don’t stop looking at my room!” you warned, if my glance strayed from the mirror on your dresser.
When the brush pulled my hair: “Stop crying. That didn’t hurt! What, are you tender-headed?”
Some people have the oddest ways of showing affection.
I [...]
Your person bore the same false glamour as your name, which sounds like a glorious flower but is really a stout tree bearing leathery blossoms. When my brother came to help me move, you joined him in a diaphanous dress adorned with glittery scarves. You cooed over my decor and pranced over the [...]