“There are two dogs in a cage in this room.”
My mother tried not to laugh. “Acorn, your preschool does not keep dogs in a cage.”
“Yes, they do!” He seemed not to notice her disbelief, so preoccupied was he with the troubling notion of dogs being kept in a cage. “Weird-looking dogs. [...]
Hot on the heels of a tale of bedtime trauma:
As we left Acorn’s preschool today, I asked him about one of the boys in his class.
“What’s that boy’s name? Ken?”
“No, Kenneth!”
“Oh, I see. Kenneth. Is he fun to play with?”
“No. He doesn’t make good choices.”
Not making good choices, I had [...]
“Dis car is flying!” Acorn proclaimed, humming a little tune he made up six months ago and hadn’t used since.
“Is that Super Car?” I asked.
“No, it’s Crrrraaaazy Car!” And then he sang to himself (rather like Frances, who sings to work out intense emotions — in this case, I suspect it was joy):
Super Car,
Flying [...]
“Stop that,” he said. “Stop talking.”
“Acorn, that’s rude to tell your Momma to stop talking.”
“I is going to make you.”
“You’re going to do what?” Imagine me a little more alarmed than the simple statement might warrant: coming from Acorn’s mouth, it sounded like he said, “I is going to smack you.”
“I is going [...]
Since Acorn will be with his father Christmas morning, Santa made a special visit to our house Friday night/Saturday morning.
Friday night I read the poem “A Visit from Saint Nicholas” (more usually known by its first line, “‘Twas the night before Christmas”) to Acorn. Saturday morning he woke a bit earlier than usual. [...]
“I don’t want peanut butter on my sandwich, just jelly.”
“Well, you should have peanut butter. It has protein. You need protein.”
“Potein? What that?”
“Protein’s one of the things you need to grow up to be big and strong.”
A thoughtful frown. “I don’ want that on my sandwich.”
“Hey, do you know what muscles are made of?” I [...]
Poke. Poke.
“Acorn, quit poking the cat with your baton.”
“I not poking her. I teaching her. I helping her learn.”
“Oh, really? What are you teaching the cat?”
There passes a long moment filled with frantically rolled eyes, a twisted mouth, and several “um”s. At last, he comes up with an answer he [...]
I.
Acorn carefully lays his little doggie down in her fluffy dog bed. She immediately jumps up and starts running circles around him again, so delighted is she that he’s home again after two! Whole! Nights! with her boy not here, absent while he was gone to his daddy’s house.
So Acorn picks her up again, [...]
Dear Acorn,
At three and a half (that’s forty-two months! Douglas Adams fans should be delighted), you’ve developed quite the sense of humor. True, you’re holding onto habits you developed in your speech-delayed toddlerhood, so your humor more often takes the form of physical jokes than spoken words. For instance, peek-a-boo continues [...]
I helped Acorn out of his bath tonight and wrapped him in a fluffy pink towel. Coaxed him into a diaper and his blue cotton dinosaur pajamas. “Now, pick out a book for Gran-Gran to read,” I croaked, “and I’ll tuck you into bed.” Mum and I gave each other a glance [...]